Whoever said “Diamonds are a girl´s best friend”…

Since I´m currently sick, I´ve had an excuse to spend some more time than usual on Pinterest, the online time waster full of colorful art and contemporary wisdom. (It´s also full of colorful trash and contemporary misconceptions, but we´ll let that slide for now, okay?)

So, I was innocently surfing Pinterest, when I suddenly stumbled across this picture:

I´ve seen it before. It´s a really cute quote, coupled with a slightly retro picture of a little girl hugging her dog. Seeing this image makes the old saying of “Diamonds are a girl´s best friend” seem even more superficial and just plain wrong. I used to be enchanted with this view and the sweet feeling of connection to my dog I got when entertaining it.

Today however, something about the picture struck me as odd.
It says “Whoever said ´Diamonds are a girl´s best friend´has never owned a dog.” … “…owned a dog.” … “…OWNED a dog.”

Folks, I don´t know about you, but I don´t OWN my dog. I paid money for her, yes I did, and I´m still paying – but I´m far, far from owning her. Maybe that peculiar feeling also comes from her being an Akita (yes please, you can serve up the clichés now, James), but I don´t feel like I OWN my dog.

I cohabitate with her. She´s my roommate. My sometimes grumpy, sometimes excited to see me, sometimes just tired roommate. My roommate who is perfectly innoticeable at times, and pushy and curious the next time. My roommate who keeps herself quite clean, but still manages to leave hair all over the place and can never quite be bothered to clean up all of her stuff lying around on the floor.

When I go places, I take her with me, IF she likes to. If she doesn´t feel like walking, she stays home and takes a nap.
That´s a big difference from, say, my iPad, which I actually own and which gets no say in whether it´s going to Uni with me today or not. 😉

All in all, I know it´s basically nitpicking, but I still feel like we should reconsider the way we talk about our supposed best friend. We don´t have to go very far, in my opinion – to me, “having” a dog sounds fair enough. You have a dog like you have a great day, an awesome idea, a good friend. You have an adolescent dog like you have a headache, a pimple, a pain in the ass. (Owners of dogs undergoing puberty will probably relate…)

You have a dog like (yes, this stretches the cliché that people get dogs as child surrogates) you have a kid. You pay for all of it´s ressources and expenses, you take care of it, you educate it, you play with it, you show them their rules and limitations… but incidentally, you also don´t say you OWN kids.

So I think this would be a more appropriate way of describing the relationship we entertain with our furry best friends.
What’s your opinion?

Adventures in Puberty – Part 1: Make your owner obsess about your feeding habits.

This is a guest post by Kaya, my 8-month old Akita Inu girl.

Does she know how to type yet, you’re wondering? No, but she’s as excellent at dictating this article as she’s at controlling her owner’s mind. Mind control is all this article is about, really. So let’s dive into the deep end of it.

Kaya is feeling a little smug about having me write her first post.

 

Hi, I’m Kaya, and I’m a modern girl – I know what I want and I do believe in feminism. I also believe in challenging the alpha bitch, as she seems to be bored most of the time, anyways.
Most people would say I’m a rather laid-back pup. I

  • chill out most of the time
  • stay at home while mommy works for 8 hours straight
  • I’m housetrained
  • and neither bark nor get destructive.

Wonderful, you say? Ha! Got you fooled! The real reason I keep myself in the background is that I need time to plot my takeover of this household without being pestered all the time. Who could think of playing or cuddling when one has to plan all these serious ploys involved? But, as you guys are such good listeners and readers, I will reveal my subtle plan to you, as any good supervillain would – so here it is:

  1. Control the food.
  2. Control the walk.
  3. Control the boyfriend.
  4. Control the whole goddamn household! *evil laughter*

I am currently working on: 1. Control the food. I mean, seriously, who does this bitch think she is (besides, well, the alpha who actually buys my food) to tell me, a righteous and honorable Akita Inu, when and where I should eat my food? Also, she’s determined on deciding WHAT I eat. For example, she has this ridiculous rule about how my staple food should be kibble, while I’m not allowed to get all of my calories from treats, and NOT AT ALL from dog poop. Yuk! What respectful dog could follow such nonsense?

Therefore, I have decided on simply not eating when I’m offered my kibble. Ha, mommy will be worried sick when she sees me not eating for days!
I think she might be on to it, however… She refuses to give me any treats, stuffed chew toys or rawhide now. She also takes away my food bowl as soon as I stop eating or even if I just sniff the kibble in disgust and turn away. Horrible person! Again, who does she think she is?! >.<
Pah, I’ll hold out longer than her. I’m sure she has never played a mind game before – she’s only a human, after all. And I’m smart and gorgeous right? People tell me so all the time. Pretty sure that boyfriend of hers thinks so, too.

Yes, dear subjects, go ahead and prepare for a change in leadership. The alpha pair will be switching females. THAT’S HOW IT WILL BE. At least after the alpha bitch realizes that using my little ploys, I AM CONTROLLING THE FOOD NOW. I such smart! Much pretty! Wow!

 

Until mommy realizes her doom, though, I will continue moping around the house and sneaking little, resentful glances at her.

 

 

Hungover?

As you guys probably know, my Akita and bigcitydawgs.com co-owner Kaya is rather on the low energy level side. However, as she’s now 6.5 months old and entering puberty, she has these interesting days where she wakes up happy and energized and ready to rock the world (which she usually demonstrates by grabbing the nearest toy and kill-shaking it wildly).
Today was one of those days.
Incidently, today was also the day I woke up with a horrible, horrible hangover. So after somehow…. managing to take out the dog and letting her have free run of the house, I went back to bed. Lying there in agony, contemplating my regrettable choices last night, suddenly Kaya walked right up to me. She put on a big fat grin like she was on drugs, sniffed my mouth, and grinned even harder. It definitely looked like:
“Oh, so you’re hungover? Had too much last night, huh? :D”

 

Kaya’s wonderful “morning after” grin
When she was done laughing at me and the state I was in, she decided to be a sweet girl and crawl into bed with me for five minutes to give me some comfort. Not without smiling viciously though 😉